REMAINING CALM
But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no partiality and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of goodness. James 3:17-18
My husband and I switched cars this morning so that mine could be inspected. Nothing like waiting for the final minute, it was the last day of September.
Let me just say that I don’t enjoy driving his cars. They are always quirky and unpredictable. Never one to spend money on himself; he settles for the paid-off and barely running variety. Over the years he has had cars that intermittently sent plumes of smoke from below the hood, a jeep that literally snowed when there was enough condensation inside in cold temperatures, headlights that needed a good swift kick to illuminate for disbelieving police officers, drooping fabric from overhead which was replaced and glued with whatever cheap thick fabric he could find at discount textile stores, assorted missing pieces or parts under the hood- some of which had been repaired by coat hangers, airborne antifreeze which would efficiently coat the interior windows, brake lights that stuck on unless you lifted the brake pedal in a northern direction with the top of your foot, and paintjobs bearing a remarkable resemblance to leprosy. His current car is not as bad as all of
that, however it does have one eccentric tendency. On occasion it refuses to start for a period of 4 minutes if it has been recently running. And on rarer occasions, it just stops unexpectedly mid-traffic.
Not wanting to sit for 4 minutes in the parking lot of any errand destinations, I opted to make the drive home from work without any stops. In my experience, life is seldom that simple. Giving credence to Murphy’s Law, the car tried to outsmart me by terminating our progress suddenly on the busy Cowpath Road Mininger Road
As I reached for my blinkers, a deafening sound entered the scene. There were a couple of cars facing the other way on Mininger, waiting to pull out onto Cowpath. A large white ‘people-mover’ of sorts had pulled onto Mininger behind me. The driver had determined that I was in his way. He wanted me GONE. Coming up behind me and laying on his horn, the man persisted with his noise. I threw up my hands in an effort to show him that I was unable to accommodate his demand that I move along. He was fixed on his course and rather than situate his vehicle so he could get around me, the awful horn-laying persisted. My blood pressure began to rise. I would like to believe that I am a reasonable and balanced person. I would like to imagine that in a scene where others are being irrational, I can interject a measure of calm. Unfortunately, I have once again proven that this is not the case. After the fourth helping of deafening horn blows, I exited my car. (Yes, I am aware that this was a stupid thing to do...) Upon seeing me stand to my feet, the crazed hairy man began shouting loud expletives the likes of which I am not sure I’ve ever heard. Being fully aware that Aubrey was in clear earshot and sitting in my passenger seat only made me angrier that this man was being so absurd. And so I did what any cool-headed individual would do in an inflammatory situation. I threw up my hands and shouted, “My car died, YOU IDIOT!” Well, the wave of insults and curses persisted from the mouth of the hairy man, though suddenly
despite my car door being open and my body now standing between our vehicles, he managed to get his oversized gas-hog annoyance around me. Heart pounding in my ears and adrenalin rushing through me, I sat back in the car and tried to regain some composure. And at that very moment Jim phoned on my cell phone.
I answered in what can only be described as a bark. While trying to explain my plight, a gentleman came up to my window so I handed the phone to Aubrey. The kind man asked if I needed any assistance and provided a wonderful balm to my wounded self-image by noting what a ‘jerk’ the hairy man had been. He had seen and heard the whole thing from his nearby garage. Ahhhhhhhhh. A witness to my mistreatment. It was just what I needed. But I can not let myself off the hook quite that easily. Where does this rage come from? What is it about the feeling of being unjustly treated? I felt misunderstood and needed to clear myself by launching out of my car to try to be rational. If I could just tell the guy I was stuck…. But sadly, all attempts at prudence failed in the face of hurled insults. And that is exactly the point at which I need to remind myself to take some deep breaths and stop fighting battles that are not mine to fight. It isn’t good for my blood pressure. Or Aubrey’s disposition.
The car started in 4 minutes. And knowing that now his insane wife was at the wheel of an unpredictable vehicle and his daughter was unnerved by the man’s noise and her mother’s loose-cannon response, Jim refused to hang up the phone with us until we were safely in our own driveway. With nervous thankfulness, Aubrey gave him an exhaustive play-by-play of every street we passed and every landmark we achieved until we were safely delivered home.
And so I’m reminded of James and all of his talk about the tongue being ‘a fire.’ The last verses in chapter 3 remind me that the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure. Okay, clearly my recent display of wisdom was not from heaven. Heaven’s wisdom is also peace loving and gentle at all times. It is willing to yield to others. So where is the balance between letting someone walk all over you and sticking up for yourself? One thing is certain. There were several other better options available to me. I guess my peacemaking needs some adjustment. And my husband needs a decent car.
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