MOUSE TALE

It was late in the school day.  I was typing some student visit assessments into my computer.  I caught something in my peripheral vision that made my heart stop.  About three inches from my left hand, a light-brown streak ran unmistakably across the desk.  I am usually not a paranoid individual and I DO love God’s creatures (great and small) but this was a really fast creature and apparently it was coexisting with me in my office.  I think I could have handled a creature that stays on the floor, but things sharing my desk space are another story.  I decided it was either a really fast tiny mouse or a really fast huge spider.  Either way, I was seriously freaked out. 

I sent an email to our facilities manager, asking if there was such a thing as a humane trap for light brown fast creatures.  At my request, a coworker from the main office came to join me for moral support as I opened closet doors and peeked around trash cans.  She was not particularly brave either, and soon returned to her desk.  A much braver sort, our bookkeeper Betty, came over to see what the fuss was all about.  She determined that the creature should be exterminated.  I lifted the corner of my printer and was astounded to see the cutest and tiniest little mouse I had ever seen.  He was just sitting at the far corner of the printer, attempting to mind his own business.  Betty thought we should flatten him.  I couldn’t bear the thought.  My former email correspondence to our facilities manager became something more like an emergency phone call.  Unfortunately, he was not able to answer his phone.  While the main office attempted to contact one of the other members of the facilities team, Betty and I considered our options….  Harry!!!  Harry is our fearless science-loving 7^th grade teacher.  He has been host to all SORTS of creatures in various aquariums and cages over the years.  Maybe he could come and save me.

“Harry, Are you teaching right now?”  He was covering a study hall and would be happy to come with his bucket if I could find someone to replace him in the classroom.  Betty was less than enthused about making her first classroom appearance in 21 years, but given the circumstances, she hesitantly but courageously rose to the occasion. 

Jan from facilities team arrived about the same time as Harry.  Our first plan was to gently sweep the adorable creature into the waiting bucket or trashcan.  I was to tilt the printer and Jan was to brush the little fellow right into Harry’s waiting bin.  Our whiskered intruder chose the ‘fly down the extension cord hole in the desk’ option instead.  Now he was somewhere inside the desk.  Harry started removing drawers as I attempted to shine the beam of my otoscope into the dark cavern of the now drawer-less desk.  Harry (on his knees) held a small tin can, somehow thinking that his reflexes were a match for the reflexes of the world’s fastest mouse.  He had little regard for the possibility of mousy teeth puncturing his skin.  Jan stood nearby trying to be supportive and trying hard not to dampen our enthusiasm by telling us that the mouse would never be caught this way.  I had goose bumps all over my skin and was poised to shriek at the slightest stimulus.  I’m sure we were a sight to behold. 

Boy was that mouse speedy.  He zoomed from one end to the other, straight up and down metal and into the tiny cracks along the sides that allow the drawer to slide in and out.  These tiny cracks were, in fact, the next escape route our furry friend would choose. Just before his drawer-departure, Jan noted that looking into the tiny crack at the bottom corner of the desk, he saw our mouse’s tiny features looking his way. 

And….He was off!  Zigzagging around my feet he bee-lined for the tall brown cabinet along my wall.  I was now completely and utterly weak at the knees.  Jan manned one side of the cabinet and Harry manned the other.  “He’s coming your way!!” Harry announced, and then quickly added, “No, he’s coming MY way!”  Poised with tin can in hand, determined Harry miraculously managed to bring the opening down onto the tiny fleeing intruder.  My heart was in my throat and the mouse was in the can. 

I was told that the mouse would be released to the wild.  I am hoping that this was indeed his fate, though I am suspicious of the hungry snake in Harry’s room.  Thank heaven for supportive facilities staff, multitasking bookkeepers, and passionate 7^th grade science teachers who leave the safe haven of study hall to venture out into the hunt for minuscule wild beasts who move at lightning speed in the nurse’s office.   It was a good thing they were all present for my mousy tale, for I was of no help whatsoever.