TOO MANY LEGS

In my still darkened bedroom, I reached for my reading glasses and phone to check for overnight messages. My eyes weren’t quite adjusted to early morning, but just a minute or so into the text retrieval process, the image in my peripheral vision was unmistakable. A nimble-legged arachnid was executing an athletic descent directly over my head. I was definitely in motion even before my optic nerve had fully messaged the visual cortex of my brain. I mean...that stealthy fellow was not what you would call “small” and he was  only inches from contact. Imagine a 58 year old gal in summer PJs performing a lightning-speed ninja roll off the far side of the bed, accompanied by a decidedly non-ninja shriek. Despite turning on every light in the vicinity and yelling for backup, the intruder who had been trying to maneuver his tricky little body toward the glow of my phone was not to be found. No sign of his eight creepy legs. No telltale home web. Not even an offending silken thread. So now I’ve no choice but to move out or torch our bedroom. 😳🕷