THE DREADED EARLY MORNING PHONE CALL

The Travelers

My phone rang early and unexpectedly this morning.  I hate when that happens.  I was prepared to ignore it, getting on with pouring my granola, when I saw the name on the caller ID. 

The name which the voice feature on my phone was now trying to pronounce made my heart pretty much stop.  It was the name of a man I met through my husband’s employment.  I’ve known of this nice man for years without really knowing him at all. 

Having recent concerns about my husband’s blood pressure, specifically in relationship to his work, my hands began to shake as I crossed the kitchen to pick up the phone.

“Brenda?  This is S.B.”  (He obviously said his whole name, but for purposes of this story, let’s just use his initials.)  He sounded like he had something important to say and I had a sickening feeling in my stomach.  About the time I was gripping the counter-top for support; my racing mind began remembering that S.B. no longer works with my husband.  In fact I’m pretty sure he left the company years ago. 

Before I had a chance to stop imagining my husband in an ambulance and suck in a reviving breath, S.B. launched my emotional surfboard onto a new wave of worry.  “I got a text message this morning from Emery.” 

Okay, now my hands were in full-Parkinson shake.  Emery is my father’s best friend and he attends church with S.B.  I’ve been feeding cats for the last week because my parents are on a cruise with Emery and his wife.  This could only be terrible news. 

S.B. continued.  “I got your phone number from Steve Shelly.”  Steve is my brother-in-law and in my addled state of apprehension, my immediate thought was something like “Why the heck didn’t my brother-in-law call me or better yet drive the 2 miles between his house and mine to deliver terrible news?” 

But S.B. was to be the bearer of the tidings.  “Your mother needed to get a message to you.”  All of my anguish zoomed in on my father.  He always attends overseas trips and cruises with reluctance.  Though his wife is an ambitious and tireless globe-trotter (and he can’t stand when she goes anywhere without him), his heart is really back in Pennsylvania watching golf on television, an appreciative cat on his lap. Dear Lord no, I’m not ready to lose my Dad.

And then S.B. dropped the other shoe.  “Your mother thinks she might have an appointment scheduled on Friday morning for a haircut and a facial and she wants you to cancel it.” 

Seriously?  This one minute early morning phone call which had doubled my heart rate, shot my adrenalin levels to remarkable heights and sent my impressionable brain on a circuitous route through terrors like emergency rooms and ship doctors was going to end at the Classic Hair Salon in Trumbauersville?  I was effectively reduced to a pile of jelly.

It took ten minutes for my hands to stop shaking.  There had best be something better than a My Parents Traveled the Seven Seas and All I Got Was this Lousy T-Shirt in my mother’s luggage.