EAT TO LIVE. AT LEAST FOR SIX WEEKS...

A few weeks ago, I read the book Eat to Live.  Having been told of this book by a former coworker, I was admittedly curious.  But the main reason I read the book was because I wanted to confirm my suspicion that Dr. Joel Furhman qualifies as:

1)      A man trying so hard to sell his book , he has resorted to boldface lies, and/or

2)      A pie-in-the-sky, filled with malarkey, medical QUACK 

Unfortunately, after several chapters I began to realize this guy makes some very good points.  I was so confident I’d uncover a charlatan, yet the doctor had me questioning myself by chapter 2.  

So am I a believer?  Not yet.  But I am definitely intrigued.  I’ll tell you now; I lost two pounds just READING the book.  My husband finds this amusing.  My guilt was such that on more than one occasion and before I had even finished the book, I found myself passing up chocolate and French fries.  Furhman's argument was so convincing, I actually researched recipes, went to the local produce store, and COOKED a pile of collard greens so large I had to process it in BATCHES.  (I do not recommend this.  Any of it.  Not the researching, not the buying, not the cooking.)  DO NOT buy collard greens in huge quantities.  In fact, don’t buy them at all.  Especially if you are going to try a vegetarian recipe in an attempt to coerce your daughter to help you eat them.  (Misery loves company and all that rot…) I cleaned and chopped like Mario Batali.  I blanched carefully in vegetable broth with my awesome hand carved wooden spoon.  I removed each individual leafy strip as instructed and at the precise moment between bitter and “sweet”, the color reaching a glorious spring green climax. I seasoned.  Those leaves were barely palatable warm, and one day later- those nasty greens tasted conspicuously and decidedly like rancid seaweed.  (Not that I've ever knowingly ingested seaweed…like I said, I’m more of a chocolate and French fries girl…) Maybe Paula Deen makes edible collard greens.  She adds smoked meat, red pepper sauce and butter (otherwise known as three ingredients explicitly designed to MASK the flavor of rancid seaweed….)  But I digress.

Back to the book.  Consider these outlandish claims. Dr. Furhman asserts that by following his dietary suggestions for nutritional excellence, his patients have become well enough to discontinue blood pressure medications, reverse type 2 diabetes, and unclog their nasty bypass-bound arteries.  He proclaims that the foods he suggests protect the body against several cancers.  Oh, and something that sounds entirely too good to be true, his followers allegedly reach and maintain an ideal body weight.  Without hunger. 

So today I embarked on a 6 week trial of his greens and beans plan for healthy eating.  I will save you the horror of getting a daily update on my progress and accomplish this by posting just once more in 6 weeks.  The entire painstaking process in one fell swoop.  Be assured there will be whining.  I never diet without whining.  Ask my husband. 

There will be enormous quantities of raw vegetables per day.  This includes greens. (Oh yippee...)  There will be similar amounts of cooked vegetables each day.  But not the starchy ones I so enjoy…you know, lovely fluffy potatoes, sweet corn…. (Those will be eaten too, but in a limited way.)  There will be seeds and raw nuts.  The backyard birds and I can commiserate.  There will be fruit, lots of fresh fruit.  And don’t forget the legumes.  One cup of flatulence each day with my leafy green lunch. 

What there WON’T be is anything with a nutritional label.  Nothing processed.  Nothing salty.  No sugar.  No animal proteins (except a very occasional egg.)  There will be no dairy.  No milk, NO CHEESE ! (That one was almost a deal breaker... how will I survive 6 weeks without cheddar cheese?!)  I have to say goodbye to white bread.  And pasta.  NO PASTA! (Of course what good is pasta when you can’t have cheese?!)

Are you feeling sorry for me yet?  Do you want to join me?  I've got pages of scribble on a yellow legal pad, copious notes about what I’ll eat for each meal.  I wanted to throw myself off a cliff by the time I got to the end of week three planning so in a moment of laziness, I decided I’ll give up six weeks’ worth of variety and just eat it all TWICE.

Stay tuned, you “weak of willpower” and “strong of taste buds.”  I will take one for the team and let you know at the end of October if the claims are true.  (This assumes I will still have the energy to type, that I will not have grown bunny ears and hopped off in search of Mr. McGregor's garden, and that I will not have shriveled up and died from starvation.)  

Wish me luck and DO NOT under ANY circumstances eat anything delicious in front of me.