I've talked with a lot of grumpy people this week. And as Thanksgiving approaches, I am considering again how important it is that we take time to be thankful for the countless and amazing blessings in life. Like the grouches with whom I've interacted today, I'm not always good at remembering to be thankful. But I'm working on it. I've got a reminder on the cabinet in my office. "If you can't find the bright side of life, polish the dull side."
I want to tell a story, but before I do, I want you understand something important. I'm the mother of the two most amazing people in the world. If you are a parent, you will want to argue with me. Don't bother, I'm tenacious.
My son is living in another state and I miss his laughter and his fun-loving personality every single day. He has grown into a wonderful, generous, and appreciative young man. But this was not always the case.
My husband Jim and I can distinctly remember the times we had to channel some pretty negative thinking into something less pessimistic. Please understand, we are a family of redheads. We tend to feel things with conviction and our son was holding true to well-established family patterns. (It’s probably wrong to blame hair color, but so helpful to have a target for culpability…) When little Isaac would tell us about his woes, we would attempt to redirect. “Okay Ike, now tell us five happy things.” It didn't take long for our son to realize that voicing one miserable thought would most likely result in being forced to wrack his 6 year old brain thinking of five blessings for which he was grateful. I remember well his adorable little face straining for answers....“Ninja turtles….Satchmo the cat….my new Nerf football….Swedish Fish…”
As our now sweet Isaac aged, his phraseology changed too. And in time, he fine-tuned his complaints to a category we liked to call “the worst things in the world.” He began referring to the things he disliked in this way and it soon became ridiculous how many items made the list. (Yes, much to the dismay of my children, I am one of those annoying mothers who maintains exhaustive lists of just this type of thing…) My personal favorites included: “Home-cooked meals three days in a row is the worst thing in the world,” and “My Mom telling people about the worst things in the world list is the worst thing in the world.”
Gratitude is definitely a learned behavior, and one that comes with a degree of difficulty for some. Even non-redheads can struggle to find the positive and be grateful for blessings rather than grumpy about inconveniences. It is always easier to identify blessings in retrospect, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t work at being thankful in the moment. Because very few people relish having to endure grouchy and ungrateful persons. Some consider it one of the worst things in the world.
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